greatest love of all
perhaps because i just sent a request to whitney on myspace, i'm inspired by the concept of self-love and what that feels like when one can reflect on this holiday as being the best ever because i'm surrounded by loved ones, relations and not, and see that i really am happy with who i am at this moment and the moments that have come up to this point.
the holidays have never been the best of times for me, but that's been largely due to my surroundings, situations, and most of all, to my mental state, which is of course, in a reciprocal, circular relationship to everything else.
not that i'm all for the rampant capitalism of it all (one of my coworkers was thinking of getting me an advent calendar so i wouldn't "miss" christmas, how can you miss it, it's rammed down your throat since october) and i maintain that waking up in 25 degree weather in viet nam and going swimming in an outdoor pool after enjoying warm soy milk on the side of the road before boarding a motorcycle probably against regulations here with your family is the best christmas i've ever spent, but that was because this one hasn't happened yet. since i'm in the middle of it, i'm forecasting nothing but good from here on out.
this year, i'm more aware of my blessings, or maybe just more calmly accepting that i am worthy of them. it's 6 days until i'm going to be with the love of my life, and if i hadn't met him earlier in the year, i don't think i would be feeling this way so acutely right now. since i've known him, i've been more focused, more positive, and more inspired to get my shit together and live my life to the fullest. i can't wait to see him, be a cuddle monster (no getting up for work, only cuddling!), ride the staten island ferry, and make some more plans.
i'm writing now and i went to the hobnob/free food gala affair a few days ago ( i heart tandoori chicken.) and i did some major fraternizing with the brightest and the best in asian canadian cultural iconage. i found out that the editor in chief of my magazine is someone i had an english class with at uvic years ago and i remembered that she did her presentation on porn. small, small, world, but that gives us hope that we will all come together and the cause is within sight and therefore within accomplishment. i can't wait to see what's coming. rave reviews to the kamikaze girl reaction (www.ricepaperonline.com) from most eds, and i'm gonna get my bio up yet...it's gonna be exciting y'all.
my employers got me a $30 gift card to Chapters and some "jet lag tea" and it's really nice to work for a small company that cares for their workers. you know what this means, right? yep, i'm building my david sedaris collection! one shouldn't hoard, but i can't help it...i'm a sucker for literacy! dammit!
my second christmas with my gay husband and he did not disappoint. we walked (unheard of for him really, i guess we all go through evolution) to davie to go to stepho's as per tradition, but the lineup was so long that we might have had to resort to eating badly dressed (i.e. roots wearing) fags on the street, so we went to try out a new indian bistro instead. the food was to die for, but the service was a bit confused, and the man in a turban greeting with exagerrated emphasis on SHARING was a bit much. however, we stuffed ourselves, got caught up, and speculated on who were the "daddies" in the restaurant and why the other table refused to eat any of their food. you know i can't stand wasting! with a belly full of chocolate after walking around to true confections and getting some bitchy service from a dessert faggot, and going through You and Whose Army (one of my new favorite boutiques) i toted my new! lecoqsportif handbag as we strolled up our old stomping grounds and shook our heads at all the poor Robson Street wage slavers that had to be working at 11pm on a thursday night. Here's to that not being us anymore! we've officially severed our roots, and because it's a year after the fact, i'm no longer ashamed of naming names, and besides, who doesn't know of that "prehistoric relationship" to borrow the wise words of Amalia.
out of the crew, we're all out but one, who has moved up in the ranks, but that's another story. i dropped by a copy of late registration for him so that maybe he (who introduced me to Ye in the first place) can also touch the sky because i hear that spaceships are hard to come by.
i dropped by last night to my dearest from that crew (other than MGH) and spent some quality time with her loinfruit, who made last christmas so wonderful for me despite the lack of familial acknowledgement...and it was nice to catch up and see them grow and go through their gamut of emotions, and see them make themselves crazy over opening presents. we actually were able to have a few moments together too, to talk about things and reflect on where life has taken us over the past year. oh, and two plates of turkey dinner and pecan/pumkin pie...i was thinking of you bri.
next up, my second family when i want to have many many siblings...and what's the first thing you do in any immigrant family? eat. yep, another plate of food, though this was mostly salad and proscuito, some rice and wrapping it all up, vietnamese style. new friends and i got to be part of the present opening traditon and i added more, like "display, display!" and i was all tuckered out watching forrest gump in a hot room, too tired to rant about it, but i'll have some someday. run forrest, run!
and now, i'm getting set to see my actual family, with the best relations between my dad and the wifey ever (met her loinfruit a few weeks ago) and it's going to go well, i haven't seen this part of the fam in years, and i'm one up on the situation because i'm not going to be the brunt of the fat jokes (popular theme in my family..but i'm not even a bit festively plump right now, alas....) and i speak vietnamese now...not to go into it automatically on the defensive...i am bringing with me granville island tea and a sunny disposition.
and to wrap the evening? i'm gonna hitch a ride back to richmond and hook up with mc, and my other longtime second second home, and we're gonna hit the clubs. burlesque and pancakes at my house partay minus one. see u there.
