a girl's whose name begins and ends with "a"

hello...back on the block just off 14th and main...lovin' the fact that i'm home, though itching to get back to that apple of my eye, and the pie...

so, my last day was spent waking up early in the rain to train back to manhattan with uncle dave, and finally making it to the library! it is the most beautifullest edifice that i've been in for awhile, and damn those reading rooms! off the freakin' hook. roamed back to the hotel for one last stroll down lex, packed my stuff and went off to times square with the youngun and we had the most fun..went into toys 'r' us-damn man, that shit has a whole ferris wheel in the store, though it's no FAO Schwartz..woulda loved to have jumped some blues scales on that light up piano...oh well. went to other various "experience" stores, like NBC and this doll store called "American Girl" or some nonsense like that...check out the website y'all cuz you wouldn't believe me if i told you, three floors of this doll emporium/empire and they're expensive, $84/pop with all their outfits and then you can buy the same outfits for your own child..and the place was crawling..we asked some of the dudes that worked there thier motivation and it was interesting..them pretzels are good but shoot, they're salty! but it was lunch for a dollar because i spent some more at Strawberry-damn that store, it's the devil to me..but i can honestly say that i revamped the wardrobe and got a lot of killer pieces. can't wait to rock it all, every freaking day.

back to the lobby and we ate some spaghetti and calamari with our hands in the doubletree (kept my cardkey as a souvenir) much to the dismay of the staff there, i kept falling asleep in the chair, and they were begging to call me a cab, but we had our ride to the airport secured..nice dude from ecuador who asked me when i finished high school..recently? yep. it's funny, because an hour later, on the plane, all the flight attendants were asking me if the 6year old next to me was my son. go figure. age ain't nuthin' but a number, but i don't really think it's that hard to figure me out..why is it that i'm either 12 or 35?! well, the ride out was my last thru queens and last chance to see sights and listen to funkmaster flex on hot 97. pretty uneventful except hearing the same Luda song that i saw the vid with earlier that morning with my man...:)

get to the airport and we're offered the option to be chosen to be given $400 cash and hotel to take a later flight because they oversold, and in the meanwhile, we could wait in the first class lounge. so, lemme tell you how pimp that was: free internet, a spa, food and drinks galore, this fountain that was set up with lounge chairs all around, we lived it up. we weren't chosen, but we made use of that lounge, lemme tell ya...and we got a $100 voucher to shop on the plane, duty free, so i picked up some gifts for the parentals...the new dkny "be delicious" cologne for dad and some godiva for his wife, and a ginger room spray for myself.

the plane was full of screaming babies, but i managed to sleep anyway, and the meal was pretty solid, as was the one on the way out...i was happy to get into vancouver at 3am, but it was like when i came back from VN, a lil' culture shock because it was like returning to a ghost town, after being around all them people...but i guess this just confirms the fact that i'm a city girl, BIG city girl...

i had to unpack my new shit, including the prince clock, which is sooo great! and by the time i went to bed, it was getting light out. i woke up to get the dose, and on the way back, found this organ abandoned in the alley behind my house. i wasn't sure if it worked, but it's an organ, dammit! how hot is that? i got this guy to help me move it, and my landlord to roll it into my apartment for me, and it actually works! i was gonna get a keyboard, but instead i scored a free organ...look out.

next up i went to pick up my credit card, and walked up main, stopping into the boutiques that remind me of nyc, but no more shopping for a year. the bestest was the mail i got today, my insurance plan, and the schedule's starting to fill back up...gotta go, the library man is calling for my head. all4now.

and i'ma eat it! i definitely think i succeeded in taking a pretty big bite out of it in the 5 days that i've been here...from the shopping i did, the clubbing, the sightseeing, the walking alone, got lost for the first time today, and every day getting mistook for a "native new yorker" or being asked for directions..and being able to hold my own! this is my city, what?! relax, i'm still claiming east van..but you better believe that there are huge pieces of my heart that are being left behind.

well, after my last account, there was some wandering around Queens, which was very nice, italian ice and victoria's secret, and singing waitstaff in the diner where the boys were playing their videogames and the girls were talking 22 brushes...MAC forever! follow up with my first subway experience into the city, and wandering around Soho making street venders happy, but you can't beat the stuff i got, $3 sunglasses, a killer necklace that looks like turntables, and a hand carved wooden prince clock, and it was the Lovesexy album too, with a nekkid pose and stamen of a flower that looks and is strategically placed to resemble his..."big spicy sausage that snaps when you bite it"...more shopping spree, then on the 6 like Jlo in days of yore to drop stuff off at the hotel and hang out with my boy before we meet back up with the super couple in the most romantickist place to have a spinach salad and an unsweetened ice tea in the city. we were supposed to go to a fashion show, but bailed to see a zombie flick instead..land of the dead...reminded me of film studies 324..but i was so tired that i slept thru most of it. after that, back to queens for our second nite together..so much hospitality...and back to the city for sunday pride...

too bad we couldn't move fast enough in the humidity to make it to the parade, but we did see Ashanti in the subway and made the bestest salad ever...it was so beautiful, we took a picture, then sat there dissecting it and having a good 'ol time shouting out Jasmine Guy...more subwaying and meeting the cuz, more shopping..and really having to cut myself off...we hung out at washington square park and thought about picking up some spaghetti and books that some student left on the street...walked thru the remnants of pride and got hot dogs and holleration from nasty dudes selling whitney houston vinyl in the street ("chinese girls make me hungry") grr...the asian fetishists in this town are not cool..NOT COOL. whadeva, are they cool in any town really? weren't we supposed to set up an asiaphile website or something? tammy?! how u doing in the hurricane city? we hitched a ride back with the boyfriends and saw radio city music hall (the bsb are playing there july 29) and nbc studios...i guess i'm not making it to central park this trip, oh well. next time, though it will prolly be the dead of winter, but hey! i can wear my parka!

more packing of the new wardrobe and quiet time with the boo, then off to grand central station to try to get a piece of damn pie, but it wasn't happening this day either. oh well. we'll always have that mediocre piece of key lime...i serenaded him like a crazy drunk fool (my love's got me looking some crazy right now) until his train came, then went back and tried to go to sleep.

i woke up this morning and tried in vain to go to the library, but it was closed so i sat across the street and did theory while some old dude tried to chat me up. got a piece of pizza and made a wrong turn walking in the rain. made my way to the station to come upstate and got the call to buy a one-way ticket...brooklyn tried to hollerate and made sure i got some gelati (lemon poppyseed and green apple) and made it onto the train. the first stop, i realized that the city had disappeared and by the time i almost didn't get off (had to push the button) i had arrived in the country.

i had my first caffeine of the past two weeks cuz i kept seeing adds for a coconut iced mocha from dunkin' donuts on the way and it was ok. we drove around and heard mimi on the radio three times and stopped at the "beach"..it was cute. i met the rents and the fam and the homestead, and had a nice homecooked meal, and was put on the spot to dance in the circle with ginuwine. we laughed soo much and now it's time to close this blog and this trip with one last nite (for now) in the arms of the one that i think is the specialist....werd. all4now.

and everything in New York, ain't always what it seems, but i gotta say that it's working out to be everything that i hoped for and wanted and soo much more.

day one: i couldn't wait to get the whole flight out of the way and i had to call my baby boy and tell him i'm on my way! and fyi, it's official by the way, i've been officially asked to be a pie baking partner in crime, or in cosby show terms, to "go steady"...aaahh! the giddiness kills me...it was an ok flight, not too long, and i watched 'be cool' on the plane, which was ok, but lived up to its reviews of mediocricy.

it wasn't too hot when we touched down, and i enjoyed the shuttle bus in, seeing the sights, though it kinda looked like Vancouver (which i also learned from watching Hitch)..we got off at Grand Central Station, and i commanded the troops to walk to the hotel, which wasn't that far away. i was amazed to see how much garbage there was lining the streets, but it was exciting none the less. we settled in, and walked around the block to get some calling cards and i fell infatuated with the city when we walked into the 24hr store and saw a deli, hot food, and produce....not 7-11 shit, but big bunches of cherries...at $10 a pop though, we waited until the next morning to buy them from the corner..SO Viet Nam! we got our free cookies and i scored an extra room key so that we can all get around with more freedom.

i got the tip from my baby that Shakira was going to be on Good Morning America in Bryant Park the next morning so i slept very lightly for the next couple hours then got up at the crack of dawn to walk the 16 blocks to the park. people were friendly and helpful, and i got some wrong directions and had to double back but it was all good, because i got to see the city..

there was no Shakira, but i ended up watching Jesse? Mcartney, is that his name, that little Aaron Carter lookalike? but it was worth all the standing around to be on television across America my first day, and to see Diane Sawyer and have Emeril cooking ribs in the park at 7am...the baby backstreet boy's band was soo tight though, and his backup singers were killer...it was a nice vibe and the crowd energy was good, everyone singing along..beautiful souls...and it was all in front of the library! which i was looking for, because u know i love the library, and on the other side, across from SUNY optometry school, so if jason ever finds me in time...contact me dammit! i don't have your number!

i walked back and flopped onto the bed and announced my love for the city! it smells like garbage, and it's not pretty, but i love the old buildings, and the business and the availability of everything.

for lunch, we got picked up in an escalade and went to the village, so it was a touristic nature of a different type, but i had to politely decline because i am more hands on than that, and i had a date to meet up with a certain special someone so i decided to walk back to my hotel from 8th and Broadway..it's only 40 blocks in NY heat..but i got to see the city, and i actually found my way around, and learned how to cross the street, peaceful coexistence with the zillion taxicabs? yes...a sign that it's meant to be.

i had a cold shower and changed up...met up wearing matching outfits with my boo (not on purpose, y'all!) and we cabbed around to various different spaces (we went thru chinatown and i saw the coolest elevator ever) to set up for the events that he had to take care of...the knitting factory is a cool place, nice venue and the premise of a gaming event with music (nintendo music with live band, etc.) was killer. it was nice to watch my baby do his thing, and meet Uncle Dave and a lot of his friends, and play video games for a bit...y'all gotta see the pictures. i love new york.

next up, i catnapped in the car with uncle dave to "sweet child of mine" and we discussed some "deep" issues...") by the time we rolled up the the bowery poetry club, i had hit my third wind..it was so ill in there! i love new york city events...there was a live art battle (spec-1 would have flipped out!) and emcees and djs representin'....with live musicians...aaah! holleration, but it was all cool...mainly feeling special that my man was showing me off to his boys...i was picked to be the contestant for the freestyle pyramid, though i was stuck on a single issue...but it was cool to be on stage...

last club was crash mansion where i saw my baby's heart..the jungle...and i met the other half of the friend i had met earlier, and she's awesome! but 2 asian girls in a club in new york city..means some serious holleration...but i didn't expect it to come attached with such the wackness! "u girls are really pretty. where do your people come from?" what?! but for the most part, the hollers have been good for comic relief, "yo sexy, what's poppin'..."

we ended up eating at this killer 24hour eatery, the yaffa cafe, where it was attempted to find some couscous at 3:30am, but there was none, and they didn't have black olives, but i had tiramisu instead and nibbled on various other things at the table. the vibe was very cool and the decor looked like a total fire hazard, you know how much that excites me ")

last stop was another cab ride, this time to queens and we ended up crashing with the total hostesses with the mostesses and we got better acquainted. it was nice to have a solid sleep after being awake for almost 24hrs (and out walking and doing stuff) and wake up with the sweetest sunshine a girl could know. the cat, falafel, was pretty sweet too...bringing us the toy to play with.

i've decided that today is my shopping day, so i can't wait, and we may even take the subway..the library is also waiting for us...i love new york city...have i mentioned that yet?! all4now.

and she wants you to know that she is officially a retired retail queen! she may have to ammend that to corporate retail queen if she ends up working at Front, but we'll see...for now, yippee!

last days, last days, yesterday was the epitome of the end of an era, no more working with the hubby...we commemorated by doing a double feature at the Ridge (best theatre in town, other than Tinseltown) of Hitch and Kung Fu Hustle..had a laugh that we've gone soft a year into the relationship, we used to see such hardcore films about child prostitution and drugs...now we're going to romantic comedies..."so, how did we go from Twist to Hitch?"...but it was exciting for me to see the city! and see how much it looks like this city sometimes...wow..three days. and how hot is eva mendez? i want her clothes, her apartment...her job even, hey, she gets to write, right?

the Kung Fu Hustle was worth the $3 to see it on the big screen...and we laughed..."tyranny, your favorite..." drove home (top up!) in the new old Saab, and pledged to either make an effort to stay in touch, or really never see eachother again and have it be "viva forever" truly...somehow i doubt it...i still need a lamb kebab dinner...

well, that's about it for me, gonna see if my boo is on-line and off to the teenagers....next blog will prolly be from nyc! all4now.

i should really be calling this "vancity's too jiggy, part deux" but oh well...after my dinner at my daddy's, i came back home to charge my phone, and received a call from my sweet thang, even though i told him that i prolly wouldn't hear his voice...(sigh) so sweet, smart, affectionate, considerate..but janet can't have him! she's too busy with that midget jd anyhow..what's up with the jacksons? what's up really?

anyways, with all the openers on the bill, i made sure that mizthang and i rolled thru late, but we were still to early not to miss that shit..but it was cool though, we had one bellyquake after another as we were confronted with vancity's wackest...i was zipped up to the nose in my orange adidas and my wrestling boots, showing no skin, only hands and eyes as to try to avoid the holleration, but it still occured, again, just had to laugh it off though. D was wearing her longshoreman gear, yoop yoop...for steel toe boots!

Cake almost approached me, but i got Pie these days...hahaha! and it was nice to run into Ben, who wasn't FRONTin', telling me i was fresh in the bgirl dress...so we got caught up and then he was off to "find some frivolous ass"..which was well represented that evening, lemme tell ya...especially when they brought them up on stage for hip hop hooray..and they were lapping it up..yo. why u gurls gotta be so dumb? "hey..hos..." act like you know.

but before that, the opening "acts"...are you serious? "1,2,3, this is how you be a true emcee"...ya, on sesame street...damn. and why were all those fools doing full sets? and forgetting that they already did their "bounce" tracks...remix! my favorite was the one "for my ridaz"...east van, what? ridaz muthabiatches?! translink what? i wrote the whole interlude for mztg's album right there..."3-Main, 8-Fraser, 15-Cambie, 22-Knight!" comedia...honestly, we didn't think naughty was gonna even show..it seemed like the recipe for "naughty got held up at the border"..but we were entertained by the hardcore white boys who were sharing the front row with us, a lil' cocky with the weed though..eventually it got confiscated..that was kinda harsh, but what did you expect...i guess naughty rolls different from snoop.

treach and uncle vinny are stuck in this time warp of '93...and they were laced in their naughty gear ( i touched vinny's sock while he was rapping to show D) treach had on some awful gaudy jewls though, and had one too many poignant moments lying on the floor or pouring hennesey on his own arm for tupac...i don't care if it was his bday..but the best was when he tore his wife beater off, and tried to mean mug the crowd, until he looks down front row centre to give me daps and breaks down his gangsta to smile and wink at me...yep, cutie cuterton strikes again!

after the show, we get hollerated all the way home, from the mental stage rusher and his 'cousin adam' who were trying to get to mcdonald's and creamed their panties when they found out we were 26..."city gurls are so hawt"...yep, they were fresh from abbotsford, and had the good sense to lag behind as we rolled up main home....other youngsters were hanging out their cars.."wanna hang out?!" naaw, man, i gotta work in 3 hours...go home, your parents are looking for you..shoot.

so the next day, i was a little deaf still and sleep deprived, but i accomplished all kinds of shit, then crashed at 6, and it was all good. my boo sent me the cutest message that got me all blushy and giddy all day...and yesterday, i waited all day to call his fine ass...")

I passed my jazz exam! wow..this was a big one...and i'm going to new york in 5 days...aaaaahhh! i only need one hand to count now...i ran into dj nee bageara now johnny q-pid spinning across the street at guess? (i recognized the tables that i helped transport so many times) and he gave me his mix cd and he's still got it goin' on, but he's got nuthin' on my boy....(sigh), and right next to him in the store was a big poster in the perfume store that said "love the sunshine"...and that's what all signs are pointing me to do. werd.all4u.

i've been trying to wake up when my body tells me to and resist the urge to lounge, but i love to lounge! i don't set the alarm on days off though, so i came down the ladder and expected it to be later, but it wasn't, it was only 8:15. i hiked off to get my dose, and did my lounging air drying and reading my book.

i finished it (Coffee and Kung Fu by Karen Brichoux) on the bus to Richmond, and it was pretty good, summing up how i've been feeling lately in terms of life, love, family, and not settling for what's easy or convienient if you're not doing what you love and loving what you do. sometimes, you have to be rash and take a trip and a risk...(sigh).

i went to my old stomping grounds of the Richmond Public Library and ended up listening to John Legend and checking out in particular a recommended track, "Ordinary People"...yep. I listened to Sweetback's second too, and the track with Ivana Santilli blows my mind, "Love is the Word"...such an inspiring track, i listened to it a few times...samples Grease and that old song, "What you won't do for love"...oldie but goodie...the jist? "I came back to let you know, I gotta thing for love, and I can't let go/it's in my soul"..."what good am i to anyone else if i can't love myself?"...indeed.

i waited around for the dad's wife to pick me up, but i wasn't mad that she was late, and ended up having her wait for me as i read the new Vibe mag at the grocery store, guess we're even there. we're making peace, i guess. she says that if you want good things out of life, you gotta put good things in, and i totally agree with that. i guess i just can't see where if she thinks that's true why she keeps trying to change my dad. but it's still fun to be there for the co-conspirital glances across the kitchen when they "banter". there's a poetry contest in the vibe, and this month's topic is "sunshine", go figure..so i'ma win that damn contest...just gotta write me a poem first, but i'm sure i'll be hit with some kind of epiphany soon.

came home and my daddy was there already, so i guess he knew i wanted to talk to him and we hung out in the garage and we had a long talk about life, hardship, and work (since i basically had to tell him i have no money again, and that i quit my job). he continues to make me cry in a good way, i think in the past year and the past month especially we've become so much closer, and he told me that he supports my music teaching profession because "i know you're not the 9-5 office type. i see this as a good fit for you because then you'll have time to do creative things, and you need to do that". who would've thought that my dad could see me as true as i am? he's pushing me to do it, and to do it for me because it isn't gonna be for anyone else, and to suck it up and not look at the situation so negatively, but as an investment. he explained that pride has been a foolish vex in the family, and sometimes, it needs to be swallowed to maintain professionalism and patience and hard work will win through in the end.

he told me candidly how his marriage to my mother fell apart because he was trying to balance work and immigration, buying a home, her past relationship staying in touch, his family coming, and their first and only born child (yours truly) all coming at the same time. he admitted that he didn't have it in him at the time to explain his position about his job and his plan as well as he did to me in the garage just then, but he didn't have it all figured out then. funny how retrospect works.

he did this all while i helped him (well, i handed him the veggies and opened the can of coconut milk) prepare the most sumptious malaysian salmon curry he personally adapted to include eggplant, zucchini, okra and tomatoes. that's where i see his creativity come out, and it always has been there..i must have got it from someplace, right?

well, this is getting long, so in short, my father is my hero, and it's obvious that i have to heed the advice and good sense that i know better than to ignore and grab what's out there for me and make the most of my life..i've been slacking for a bit, but retail does that to you...and more immediately than that, i got a two piece today! very neopolitan and sexy, if i do say so myself...might have to get my sugapie to take me to the lake on sunday if the pool's not an outdoor....8 days to nyc! all4now.

(sigh) it looks like there's some sunshine and romance in my near future, along with a forecast of humidity, it's about to get hotter in the city! and i'm talking about nyc on june 23 when i get there! ye-ah!!!!!

that's mostly what's on my mind, when it should be remaining employed..or getting employed rather...damn. but whatever, i always get thru..it's just funny when the worlds start to collide..especially in this little music world here in vancouver...just found out that satan has initiated a collabo with the fancy coffee man..damn. whatever. no time, right? all i want is sunshine! and dammit, he's taking me to the library!!! what?!

i had a vacation day with MGH yesterday at work because it was just the two of us for the first couple of hours and we helped the botox belles of the ball before they went on their cruise, and giggled about the screwfaced dolty dolterton and her degree in dumdumology...oh, the poor dears that come in looking for their first retail jobs with their friends (staple thier resumes together), scantily clad (does this look like the guess store?!), with their significant others hanging off them with visible hickies....(what can you even say to this one?) ah, youth.

i went out for tea at the jjbean with my red bullet last nite and we got caught up, sending high hopes out there for her audition for the L word...she convinced me to keep my pumps to wear "to bed" and helped me heft the rest to the blue box for the needy. she offered comments from the peanut gallery to colour my conversation with the one that makes me giggle....and tingly...and not just in my knees...but everywhere...(sigh). i have some bizness with that bottome lip of his, serious business, that i will attend to in 9 days!

i can't watch television anymore, it's too fast...i could barely focus thru the music vids from bep and stefani today, and eat at the same time..i think this is why it rots your brain, and it made me ponder this question...hot as she is, what is the function of fergie?! thanks to the well-travelled kinder surprise for the uplotion of some new dope ass pix. all4now.

hello to you "foes and the mos"...let me do some "talking straightforward to hos"...i forgot a few key things that have been happening in the past few weeks. first, virginia madsen came into the store wearing a huge, fabulous flowing straw hat. next, i bought a tape player from some crazy persians on the street and have been bumping mizthang mixtapes and vietnamese language tutorials ever since. i'm on the last legs of the french mani though, had to cut it, it was starting to grow..kinda fun but way to high maintenance for this girl who uses her hands too much.

i got my "raise" the other day, and i just had to laugh..it was completely bananas, but it's ok, just confirms that  it's time for me to go...skiddadle. damn, guess what? that fifteen cents?! shove it!!!!!

i rearranged my furniture and it's great, love my apartment! i met with my RedBullet and we had some chicken and JJ..Bean. next up, rocked the hustler shirt that was purchased for me by Jerri, and i brought over some macaroni to be cooked in Kanye's microwave. i bribed him with the Common cd to let me eat it there too, and we laughed at the "bonus" dvd of Kanye eating soup and talking about crochet pants. we had a nice time until we went crazy trying to find something to eat, and decided to walk the 17 blocks to Denny's. we were looking for "mashed potatoes and Gregory", but "ain't nothing like a tapeworm!" I can't believe i just wrote those things i never said...well, such is our relationship. so, after some classic acting with the waitor, laughing at the afterbar clientele from barcode, and moons over my hammy..we walked home and decided not to "work". movies with guinea pigs as the protagonist....hmmm....candyland.

work was ok, i guess, i got to put some things out there, and i met this cat named Jim from the circus of Missouri...it reminded me that i needed to love what i do and do what i love, as if i needed to be reminded of that, but he was awesome.

finally went to see 'monster in law' with the husband, and it was great, definitely see why my friends and their moms saw me in that, and we had to laugh at her gay husband who behaved suspiciouly like mine...."i'm so exhausted".."what did you do today?" "I went to the post office"...."gucci! look at all this gucci!"

the latest is that i won tickets from beats2tharhyme on monday nite to go see naughty by nature and i found the simpsons 2nd season on dvd at the library! got to chat with my chocolate bar cutie today, and i think it will be a good meeting when we do in nyc! all4now.

i'm back in that spot where i can't exactly explain how i feel, i'm just feeling that "not quite right" feeling. maybe i'm just tired, or maybe i've just finally had the moments to be alone and with my thoughts, and then, following in true goat form, i'm overthinking everything i've underthought in the past couple of months..arrrgh.

i'm kinda bummed about money, though i'm not going to let it get to me, maybe i feel like i'm immune from debt or something, which is so untrue because i'm in it.

i'm finding it hard to stay motivated for the last couple weeks of my mcjob because i haven't seen the raise that i'm supposedly getting and my last cheque will be my last.

i don't know about this trip because i think it will make or break my relationship with my mentor, and my prospects are not looking good otherwise..but hey, since when do i care about work, right? yeah right is more like it...

dunno, kinda in a funk, feel like i need to purge again, or at least vacuum. all things i can do.

i went to victoria and it was kind of a weird trip, but there is a totally strange energy about that town...it was like i was in a time warp: even though things are different, it seems like the kind of place where it doesn't seem to harbour change, and that was the problem when i was there...and nothing was quite as great as i remembered it, not ferris' not the ali baba pizza, but the ice cream was awesome at sweet memories, and the patch still rocks the world...i got my last 2 pair of silver irregulars from capital iron, and it was the end of a couple eras i think...everyone is slowly leaving there and my ties are getting less and less, and that's not a bad thing...ok, this is a pretty boring blog, but i'm gonna go now because my mind seems to be on other unknown things...i'll figure it out. peace.