a girl's whose name begins and ends with "a"

why do such great artists get stuck with such shitty representation?

is it automatically assumed that all those surrounding/managing the talent has to be a bunch of assholes living vicariously through folks who are more successful/talented than they ever were?

yes, that's a generalization, but yes, it's also a reality, and it's frustrating because it does not in any way reflect the quality or personality of artists. perhaps it's just a call to responsibility to manage yourself, but that's always easier said than done, especially depending on what level of  "success" one hopes to achieve.

in any case, i'm going to make sure that i can deal as directly with artists as i can. i'm breathing a big sigh of accomplishment as my first two celebrity interviews are now under my belt, and yes, if my editor is reading this, i am drafting the fruits of the labour that i will submit asap.

it just gets me thinking about my own business plan to dedicate my life to helping those beautiful, creative souls that exist around me and those that seem to gravitate towards me somehow (i am blessed afterall) to achieve the previously thought to be unattainable, doing what you love and loving what you do. i hope that in my forays of a&r related business that i will never be so jaded as to believe that i am more important that the artist and use their clout to further my own gains, well, i am not so naive as to believe that a&r is not only about the artist, but also about the name that you build for yourself. and yes, i'm all about building a name for myself, and getting credit where credit is due, but scratch that trying business, i pledge and commit to always remember that it is a reciprocal relationship and i will never abuse that trust by fucking around reporters who are genuinely trying to bring my artist up for the sake of getting some pussy in a club washroom that will probably amount to 15 seconds of pre-impotence due to all the drugs i've done prior to that point.

yes, that was my rant, but also my thanks to the lesson learned this weekend about the industry firsthand, and also that my tenacity paid off, and the tiredness that followed was also well worth it.

i ran into vicki gabareau buying mushrooms at the market, and spoke to her briefly, not knowing that her show had been cancelled in april, and i still had my complimentary tickets in my pocketbook. oops. guess her 15 minutes came and went.

and how do you go from touring with kool keith to opening for 50cent?

and when the fuck is amalia townsend gonna blow up already?

and could new year's eve come any quicker?

and elections and snow in vancouver oh my!

and bigups to the drivers at translink who always have a comment on my boots. peas y'all.4.now.

as I promised my Sebby, I am blogging about this very important matter. yesterday, we met for Starbucks....(grr..no i never warmed up to them, but have their products always been so syrupy sweet, or was I just immune to that shit last year working on Robson Street?) fuckups and stolen cellphones, 24hr parking spots and cock toques, our usual culture exchange. we headed to Paramount (haven't been there since we saw "Monster In Law" with the luscious Lo) because we were using the perks of working at Roots, since it will be a mere few days before he hangs up his hat as well! Yea! Our crew has dispersed...and the one that hated the org the most has now become the one most entrenched..funny how life works. this time, it was a screening of "Just Friends", a "romantic" comedy starring Ryan Reynolds as fat and Anna Faris as crazy...did Lacoste make shirts that big, and were they big in 1995? hmmm...anyways, the takedown at the front door was that of the post 9-11 patdown that we got at Key Arena when we tried to take in a bball game. It was ludicrous. they had it all barricaded off and were searching purses for recording equiptment and cellphones, then unning metal detectors over their sensitive areas to check for what? guns? have these people lost their freaking minds?! who's running to bootleg this flick, huh? what are they gonna do at harry potter, finger print scan?!

second in a series of events involving guns and slowly moving towards being a police state. friday i decided to drop in on "increase the peace", a community forum/hip hop event with proceeds going to the bus rider's union. it was a well mediated talent rich night, with kinnie starr performing, busy bee on the tables and emceeing, KAYA  represented to the fullest, curtis clearsky, and with a bit of prompting from a longtimenosee dj sucomandante, i made it to the open mic and followed kinnie's idea of being a voice filling the air as i snaked thru the crowd and busted the poem that's been dying to be performed for months now, and made it on stage to collect my accolades. i got lots of props and daps, and i even inspired a certain curly haired cutie to "accidentally" grab my ass. coloring book was represented, and i can't wait to do more with them.

ricepaper is loving the writing, so look out for me in the hardcopy...10.4 should be in stores with the quickness, i just got a few music reviews there, i'm online at ricepaperonline.com reviewing some films for the VAFF, Filipino horror and the love finale. i'm going to get a computer at some point soon...so look out! and again, i'm extending the invitation to asian artists...send me your cds, books, or films to review or hook me up with a media pass to your event, and i promise i'll write you up! let's bring eachother up, support a movement!

i went to knit at the seamripper's collective on richards and pender, and if you haven't checked out their spot, you should, because it's a great space. i went to see the diarama-rama art exhibit and i was moved to tears with the tiny detail. i'm gonna learn to hem my own jeans and use their sewing machines to make curtains out of the burlap rice sacks i've been hoarding from work!

i took off the doors of my kitchen cabinets the other night, and i love my apartment even more now. it's so open space-y.

other than that, i've been trying to create original and nutritious meals, organize my archives, read, write, otherwise create, get my parcels in the mail, and live my life.

until next time, gadgets....peas.

ok, so i was a bit shook that i got a message from someone who i never intended to speak to again (add it to the list of folks who need to just stop reaching out because they make me want to bang my head on the wall) and even more shook because it made me see that rather than speak to me directly, the one i actually cared about professed that he was "cool" but so totally not if he has to go wagging his gums in complaint to this mystery of a mofo. whatevs. the following is the reason that this blogspace is completely for me and by me, to vent whatever i need to, and why i will keep it going regardless of my "commercial" success...haha.

so i was just gonna drop it, but then i decided to take the advice of a real man, my man, who calmed me from the angry and hurt and frustrated tears that i cried to him that night, and he told me what i already knew, and that was that if folks are gonna be so trifling, they are not really my friends at all, and they can just be flicked off like the fleas they are. this was further corroborated by the fabulous amalia, btw, i just had to add that in because she's the shit...sekoya on tour in china right now! look for the second album! the single "love's in need" is exactly what music needs right now, and i'm claiming them for vancouver! and for canaduh! alright, honor (cuz there's no shame in my game) plug aside...my baby told me, "write about it girl, it's your experience, and don't let them silence you" so here i am....indeed.

drama is life and y'all helped make it. i acknowledge my part, not to be intentionally a drama queen, but i will not shirk from my responsibility and obligation to MY OWN PROCESS and i will not apologize for the mistakes that i had to make to learn from them. that is how you show self love and commit to a life of learning. if you choose to hide in your own little hole and believe that your heart is cold and that you are not capable of love and honesty and that everyone owes you something, that is your CHOICE, but don't punish me because i choose to roll with the light.

i may have written a couple lines in retrospect about you in my musings, but you're the one who surfs my shit like a coward then contacts me to tell me not to talk to you. grow the fuck up.

i guess there may be honour among theives if not honour among emcees. it's easy to hide behind a common "enemy" if she is the one that you both are too fucking weak to talk to. but consider the shit that each of you dished about eachother to me, and ask yourself if you behaved with any kind of integrity or respect for your "friend", homie....

if you want to be so private and secretive about yourself, your past, and your future, then that's cool, but don't project that upon everyone else. your god does not judge me. my god judges me.i am  my god. consult common sense for further reference. if you want to present a different version to yourself to everyone you meet, that's your agenda, but i'm the same no matter what and no matter who. i'm sure of myself, one day i hope that you will get around the aliases. i guess it was telling that the day i met you, u tried to tell me that left eye was beating andre rison. what the cuff kinda ignorant bullshit was that anyway? in fact, i'll answer that question myself, that's the kind of attitude that contributes to the problem of "domestic violence" (god, the name itself burns my blood) because it implies that what happens at "home" is the bizness of the people who live there. that's exactly what you subscribe to, and the exact reason that you are wrong. that shit contributes to everything else in societies, and your chosen silence=your compliance=you're part of the fucking problem. how i wish you were still here to see the latest signs in the train stations right now that actually put it out in the faces of everyone every day. they go along the lines of "don't worry, no one on this platform right now knows that you beat your wife"...bigups to this government for actually having the balls to put that out there. double birdies flipped at cats who are so damaged that they can't even admit it. i was content to never speak to you again, but u left me no choice with that ill message you sent.

speaking of illest, i used to love H.I.M. and though your music is still cool, i took your vinyl off my wall because i see that you've chosen to go with those who will pave the higher road to notoriety and i will withdraw from my little pledge between artists to disperse your material widely amongst my best, because you're no longer there. i was so crushed to learn in this way that you didn't have the balls to say what was in your heart, despite the opportunities that i gave you to reach out, hell u didn't even have to reach, i was there. i promised you that, and i remained true...i thought you were just doing you. but i don't have a lot of respect if you can't even come correct, so without ill will, i'm just gonna chill, but hear this: go ahead and miss me now love, cuz i'm gone.

and i'll heal, and re-focus on those in my life who are worth it, because i'm still blessed and i have to thank-you for being parts to my process. i will continue to grow, but like erykah, i'm planting seeds so i'll reap what i sow, and if you don't wanna be down with me, then you don't wanna be from my appletree...but lucky that i have no shortage of lovelies...from ambrosias to honeycrisps and fujis....peas.