a girl's whose name begins and ends with "a"

hello werld...so i've been good about not mentioning "the one that got away", and by that i mean as fitting the definition of one of the plentiful posts of ferdie on the bulletin board: the one where there was nothing wrong with the connection, just bad timing" and yeah, i've been trying to put it outta my mind, and i have accomplished lots in the last month, but every now and again, there is a wetness in my eye over the injustice of it all...but i've decided that i'm gonna laugh about it...yesterday, i cracked myself up by listing the cats that I didn't cry about, not even a little bit, and by the time i got to bokeem woodbine, i was in hysterics (met him on robson in the summer).

on the way home from the outlet with Saab, we were listening to DMX, which is a blog all in itself, and he (D) says.."if you really love something, let it go, if it comes back to you, it's yours..." and i began thinking about this, i've heard it before, but is it really true? hmmm...and if so, then could he be letting me go to? dunno.

i think i've been trying to follow that good advice of senior sexologist (can i just add how great it is to get nekkid with the old broads in the gym?!) Sue Johanson, and "not try to be friends because that shows that you're keeping the door open and hoping for something else to happen", yeah, and it's fucking excruciating to be around someone who refuses to even consider being with you...and to follow further good advice of sexxxy Common: "you're worth more than anything you can cop at a store, for you to grow, he had to go so what you stoppin' him for?!"

and finally, if WuTang had to let go of their dream of a reunion with the death of ODB, and NE has the audacity to enlist the weak beats of Puffy and exclude Bobby B, then I must resign to the reality that like the transient ownership of pens and umbrellas... romantic love is also an intangible entity...and let it go like the NPG. all4now.

so lately, i've been listening to Charlie Parker...and giggling about jazz and the jazz flute scene in Anchorman...another degree for me?!

Pila and I got together after forever and eight days on Saturday and we had some roast lamb and steamed milk and went to Cafe Deux Soleils to see Sweet Peas play some jazz, and it got me thinking that I should move my spoken word act there. I really had a laugh when green shirt actually pulled out a flute though...

Ran into Obe on Denman, after a few months of running into him there last, he's got an album coming out, so look out for that.

Gin took out moi and Kinders on Sunday nite for more meat (the Keg) and ended up footing the whole bill and pushing me to the brink of tears at bean around the world on Main, asking me about Kanye (in the site of our first "date" no less), and infuriating me by telling me that books should only be for entertainment, and not to make you think, or feel because that's too "girly". as a writer, i took serious offence.

met up with rhia and had some laughs and searched thru the IKEA catalog for bunk beds. still continuing to exercise...new library binge and got stood up by the exchange student, but i think she just doesn't know how to leave proper messages in english. had a nice tiramisu flavoured steamed soy milk at her spot though, so all is not lost..can't wait for elvis costello style hip hop class that i never get to go to cuz i'm never off on tuesdays! all4now.

and that should be co-titled ms.olympia challenge, cuz the two seem to go hand in hand the past few days, could be the explanation to my increased endorphins though..who knew, all that ish you read in books is true.

so, day off time gets me to like 4 hours of exercise, followed by getting lost in industrial parts of east van, and limo riding it to peelerville. it was pretty funny, though i'm sure that most of the "manmeat" was of the gay variety, i mean come on, who moves like that? my favorite was the little one with "thug life" tatted on his belly. the choices of socks and shoes were good too, as well as the greasy waiters (stripper rejects) grinding up against the bday girl...had fun dancing on down with the girlies and watching folks hookup at the bar, but also reminded how boring these joints are, could i just be too old?

yesterday, i was too achy to go to musclesculpt, so i took the day off so i could rest and read, and i finally copped those JL wristbands for my gay husband. i was fresh of ideas for my kids, time off works wonders, and i was caught in the crossfire of 9 year olds discussing Bush and Kerry in a very informed way, one of them "metro", displaying his already internalized homophobia, saying how "against gay marriage he was because personally, he thought it was disgusting", with the limp wrist and affected tone no less.

i escaped this to run to the eggnog latte and palaniuk in a comfy chair whilst waiting for MGH (see above) to show for Sideways, that makes it twice in 3 days I viewed this film (my new fave) but i missed the beginning last time. i got my period while there, so i had to get these awful pads from sev-11 because they only had tampax, and you know i can't deal with that applicator...

we had to get some meat, to replenish my iron from the exercise and the flow, then we headed off to Celebrities, for the first time since reopening. Gotta say that they make a mean shirley temple, and the people watching was great. I was quite titty-lated, lemme tell ya. Moby was there, as well as this middle aged Vietnamese couple, dunno if they were confused that it was a gay bar, or they just like the music..speaking of which, the DJ ended up being this underage girl that used to dj with the one I knew..that threatened me over a lil' kim record (that i said was crap) and her skills have not improved one lick. it was sorta reminiscent of the one from skybar, y'all gotta work on your transitions! I got grinded by a very small retail queen wearing very heavy makeup and dammit i liked it. i always said i liked small spazzy men in tight pants, well, i guess it's my turn to be careful what i wish for! ") but it was all fun, as both he and the door guy lectured me about reading in the bar (can't help it! palaniuk keeps me engaged) and his boss tonguekissed my gay husband...guess that makes us swingers..well, after another workout and swim this morning, gotta head to customer appreciating maddness. all4now.

shoutout to talib,lyrics sticks to my ribs, for inspiration coming from bumpin' his (and mos') joint last nite in my crib.

so, guess who just got a letter from the bcrpa saying that she passed her fitness theory course and is one step closer to becoming an aquafit instructor?! aw yeah...i screamed and jumped up and down and sang the first song that came to my head at the top of my lungs (it happened to be re-definition...best alliance in hip hop wo-oh) and then called my dad.

i decided not to go to see the movie i had planned for this afternoon because things would then be too squishy. instead, i chose to lounge air-drying with Chuck Palaniuk's latest. i was feeling like eating nachos and watching bridget jone's last nite, but it was sold out so i settled for Sideways, which is my new favorite movie of the moment, something about unlucky writers disgruntled in love...and irrational behaviour, gets me every time. it was pretty freaking hilarious, even though i had to watch it from the front row, and i smuggled in my vietnamese sub and pickles. i did come out feeling better, so i suppose solo cinematic experiences may be my drug of choice.

this morning, i was reminded why i go to yoga, and that i'm building something here, and i need to recommit. later, i'm hopefully gonna make it to the kickboxing class, my session of personal training and then it's limo ride to peelerville for my photographer Kinder Surprise's celebration numba 2 of the ol' nineteenth, the Fruitloop and I didn't quite make it past the lineup of the first...but we left her in good hands and picked up Billy Bob on the corner for some calamari and conversation...a lil' more my speed. oh well, all4now.

hello werld. how's it goin? been a minute, but it's been a hectic one as usual. i've had a chance to ketchup with some fabulous folks who have graced me with allowing my prescence to compliment their essences...starting with sista Viet Nam, who I saw speak about her adventures and family almost 2 years ago, and our paths and families have crossed a 1/2 dozen times since...she's back and we got to talk about love and life and family and Sai Gon. her best advice passed thru her uncle: "quit looking for a good person, BE a good person". word.

I had lotsa chicken feets with my daddy and we talked about signs, my mother being an ox, which is the most conflicted sign to my sheepness, and it doesn't match his, and his don't match mines, so I can see how as a family we never worked out. I got a letter delivered to his house though, from my former stepsister, Teena Marie, and we arranged to meet because she ended up in Vancouver right then with her man. I brought along Bash and Mozaik and laughs and conversations were had by all in that posh Yuppie Yaletown Cactus Club. it was so weird to see her as a beautiful grownass intelligent well-spoken woman, because i remember her at 8. Nutz. she's gonna be moving out this way sometime soon, so maybe i'll have a sister of my own, instead of being admiringly envious of the Reyes sisters.

Mozaik and I had a chance to be silly and get caught up and we giggled about Dr.Octagon's nutty lyrics, and burnt some cds...got hooked up with the queen of all hiphop, BahamaD, and have been bangin' it ever since. We stirfried, then went to the chiropractor so I could show off some of my newly minted fitness theory knowledge in two pairs of glasses, one from a nun. We caught Bigz' play and I'm glad to see her doing her thing.

I'm trying to maintain my posture, and i'm feeling a bit of lactic acid buildup, but i did pilates this morning, cooked, and went to the gym. Feelin' pretty proud of that...but like jlo said "and nothing in this world's gonna bring me down"....all4now.

cuz mine don't know how to act.

i think i'm a bit dehydrated, due to the strenuous pool time over the weekend completing my aquafit module, but i'm closer to my goal of teaching the water aerobics to the elderly! i'm kinda glad that mc is going to the phillipines for the month so i'll have time to breathe from that!

also, i got thru my first performance in awhile, i'm really enjoying the sound of my own voice, though i think that the crowd wasn't really getting anything i was saying, because stylistically, it was quite different, i wasn't invited back,in fact, the host saw me outside after my performance, and deduced that i hadn't even been inside yet..no, i just spent 10mins on the stage, jackass... and no one knew who the $%*@ saul williams was...such a pity, i suppose ignorace is bliss...my groupies were there though, all 5.25 of them and i gotta love that.

the 2 days back at work have just flown by and now i'm back to 2 off, so i'll make a return to the yoga class i've been awol at tomorrow and i've been invited to dim sum with my dad, on main street, my fave! then kickboxing with the kinders, and thursday belongs to mosaik and bigs' play...reprieve from the kidlets too, because of the holiday...so i should be back on track in no time, hopefully this big stack of oprah mags will help me out....all4now.

hello werld. still on the upswing of things, funny how time away from the store will do it for ya. oh, and being done with class, extended book learning that i have to pay money for is definitely not for me, at least not now. I treated myself to seeing Ray, which was a series of treats, as Saul definitely kicked my ass back on stage this Sunday nite, and Maria was indeed Full of Grace. But, I lastminited Kinder Surprise and made her come with me so that she wouldn't have to ask "who's Ray Charles?" again, and to see my man Foxx...(sigh). Unilaterally changed plans on Bash, but will make it up to him with this wicked verse at the Montmartre. Besides, Bush "won" another election. Afterwards, I dragged her to Main to perform an intervention of sorts...

I've blazed twice in two days, making me officially a pothead :) I think I'm doing it wrong though, I've gotten a few tips from some chronics, so it will be all good. I got some disparaging looks from my new naturalpath though..oh well. Yesterday it was with Mizthang and Cow..cuzin of Scurvy.

I've taken up knitting to make a certain someone a scarf, now I just gotta find a rhinestone "S" to attach to the end. I'm getting set to attend my aquafit module and teacing Sweets how to knit as well, her man bought her a kit. We uploaded some pics to my Friendster and I have to say they're pretty hot. Sorry this is kinda a boring blog, but oh well. all4now.

hello werld. it's a rainy monday nite in vancouver and i'm getting set for saul, i tried to listen to amethyst again last nite, and man..cancel the freakin' apocalypse the man is intense. should be a treat.

i tricked everyone and became a "princess" yesterday at the store, it was a riot, wore my chanel glasses and a full on tutu style dress and bought myself a tiara. there was also Macy Gray, Little Red Riding Hood, and "a Roman gaylord" (I'll letcha guess who that was) as well as some decade themed ladies.

this weekend, after my boss broke up with me, it was actually quite ironic, as i assumed the exact role of her boyfriend (pre-dumpage, his) and she rattled off everything she was gonna say to him, and it turned out that I have heard it before, not even 2 weeks ago..ouch. and yet, i understand and stand under it now.

i'm grateful for my friends, as i'm sure i've mentioned, for their good advice, endless shoulders and tear wiping, and also for the smoking partners in the dark pitying ourselves yet planning our fabulous comeback, followed by extreme waxing.

also, it must have been hard for erykah to get over dre too, i mean, come on, he's DRE, but she held out and got common freakin' sense. not that that exactly worked out either, but at least she moved up, and that's not even touching on the two bangin' joints she released in the meanwhile..so, like mjb and e-v-e, i'm back to square one, not only waiting for something real, but ready to actually change my stars like k-a-n-y-e. nah, i didn't stutter.all4now.