spontaneous is NOT random
such is the epiphany that came to me today on the metro whilst reading "Blink" (that Malcolm Gladwell is a genius).
i've been thinking about this in a roundabout way (like i think of everything) and i posted a blog on my myspace this morning about my problem with the lack of "choosing" i've done in my life, fences that i've refused to get off. for more of this: www.myspace.com/lovethatapple.
but i've realized that things like improv work because they've come from being prepared, there is nothing random about it. just like my patterns have not been anything random either. i've practised not being prepared so much that it appears that i'm an expert at winging it, well, fuck it, it doesn't appear anything, i AM an expert at winging, so i complicate my life by being prepared, which is not to say that being prepared is a bad thing, it's just a foreign thing, which is why i always shirk at something that seems too good to be true, because i'm not sure what to do, how to react, what to do next. i'm knocked out of my comfort zone because things are comfortable.
my flatmate has a really loud and obnoxious cellphone ring.
i feel much better about all of this, and i think i'll return to knitting the dog legwarmers now.
"i don't want you to be mine, i just want you to be your own"
bigup Oneself.
