what the shit am i looking for?
because i'm starting to get tired of that sinking feeling that something is missing.
i came to the realization today that i've been feeling that same general feeling of discontent that comes and goes in waves that is much too dependant on others than myself, to the point that i've internalized my worth through only the eyes of those who surround me, hold dear the ones who are emotionally unavailable (because that would actually prevent me having to be in a relationship with someone), and push away those who really care because i somehow project that they must be weak if they want to put more into something than they get out (which is what i demand).
whew.
school, my personal life, work, relationships, what my "dream" is, these things are constantly in flux.
and though triple5soul coats will not cure all, getting one for 100bux (that i don't really have) at a sample sale this afternoon placated me for a minute.
ho hum.
