a girl's whose name begins and ends with "a"

my blog looks outnumbered my profile looks on the secret page that i've resurrected.

and i'm posting the news of this happiness on the blog page that i've secretly resurrected

after it's not-so-mysterious deading so long ago.

i am in the city that i'm going to takeover in 18 months trying to hookup with people who are back in the city i left, and we're making plans to meet in the middle city.

the world is small, the emotional distances seem to widen, as the wall of the circle seem to close in.

do circles have walls?

your kiss is still magic
your dick is still magnificent

i love you so much
and love is still not enough

tu me tues

un peu plus

chaque fois que tu m'appelles ton amour

le moment juste avant

ta prochaine petite mort

i'm taking a break from my "almost" career as a pianist, it took being shut down by a pianist who represents all that i wanted to be but not really cuz i never really applied myself (who happens to be a horse, great..an aquarius horse at that...so a total amalgamation of past relationships bust) on the eve of another trip to my city of centre to make me see it.

so i gave the borrowed keys that i don't play to one who makes my heart beat in inordinate ways for father's day and will commence the lessons when i return for the gift of the birthday.

yep, cancer.

i know.

j: "what do you need the teacup for?"

a: "just to put out some m&ms"

j: "and who are you putting out those m&ms for?"

a: "oh, you know, guests."

LOL. i heart queens forever.

the fickle, passionate heart.

eventually, she gets to doing the right thing.

but in the meantime, she loves too hard, and bruises too long, hoping that this time it might be different...

 or at least that she might learn something.

though she always learns something.

and floors herself because she never stops trusting in the best in every soul, and keeps putting all those damn eggs...

into the next basket.

i'm really not cut out for this "other woman" shit, though i will say this, she is a privy, privy woman.

as in, un apres-midi avec:

moi: "you want chocolate?"

lui: "yes."

(i reach into chuck palahniuk's easter basket and grab the russell stover's)

lui: "just so you know, when you feed me that, i don't like coconut and i don't like raisins"

moi: "you don't like raisins?"

lui: "no."

moi: "but you like grapes?"

lui: "yeah."

moi: "so you're ageist then."

lui: just looks at me in that way he has that says, "girl, please."

mean a lot, appreciate what you got.

thinking about relationships....people come in/out of your life at the darndest times and for the darndest reasons.

i am on the right track to being gainfully employed, though i'm not sure i want that.

i am on facebook, though i know that i don't completely want that.

(sigh).

i want to be the girl with the most cake, is that too much to ask?

i'm great-full for the man who's full on my cake, that is definitely not too much to ask.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MDhYplIMFPQ

to steer clear from making too much of internet flirting. and find your government id. when the shit did you take that out?

rock and a hard place.

(sigh) i'm trying not to buy into the hype that people need sex, but i guess it's nice.

the problem that i am currently faced with is that i am not really at a point where i want to be trolling for new dick (and the fact that nutty people are only attracted to me enough to come after me says that i haven't been single long enough yet) and i don't really want to go back to any of the old dick.

feelings change, expectations get out of control, it's too much drama.

there is one though, the unforgettable one, but it may be hard to proposition.

difficult takes a day, impossible takes a week.

so now i'm back to quoting jay-z?

aaaaahhhhh.

damn.